


Shepard's Poop

by Pronkbaggins



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Crack, bizarre, poop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28212480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pronkbaggins/pseuds/Pronkbaggins
Summary: Shepard makes a mistake.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Shepard's Poop

**Author's Note:**

> Poop warning.

Commander Shepard knew he had one too many drinks. He usually could handle his liquor well. Maybe that Turian slipped him something again. Without thinking, Shepherd was munching on something to sober up.  
"Shepard" Tali said with immense alarm "you are eating EDI's hard drive."  
"Wha-"  
It was too late. No matter what anyone tried, the truth was he had to retrieve the hard drive through more...organic means.  
Hours upon hours passed in agony on the ships toilet. Alcohol poisoning and "food" poisoning made a truly hellish combination. Shepard regretted having any orifices at all.  
Finally, the time had come to retrieve the tiny hard drive from the pile his body had produced. Shepard rummaged through the poop until he located the drive. This was actually the most fun he had in the last three hours.  
He groaned as he crawled out of the bathroom and tossed the hard drive outside the door.  
"Emergency sanitation required" he said into the intercom before passing out.


End file.
